"locking in" rhythmically

You can use a sequencer and make loops to practice different swing ratios:  I put a tempo increase in the conductor track of two beats per minute every 10 bars.  Then I put in 1 bar of quarter-note clicks in the first bar, 8 bars of swing 8th notes (with some flavor of drum sound) and 1 bar of rest and loop those ten bars.  The loop repeats with a little space between iterations while the tempo steadily increases.  I’ve practiced pure triplet swing and other swing ratios this way to get my 8th notes really grooving.      

When you play with a new rhythm section, listen to how the drummer and bassist swing and whether the offbeats or the beats are accented by individuals or by the group overall.  You can really try to match the drummer or rhythm section for a while as a way of acclimating; get your notes to disappear into the ride cymbal.  If you’re going to over-dub on a recording, same deal.  Spend a little time connecting with the subtle particulars of the rhythmic feel. Check out the releases of the notes also -- eg. are they playing quarter-notes long or short?.  If you get the track beforehand or get a metronome marking you can spend time playing simple rhythms and making them disappear into the (click or ride).  If you tap your fingers on your knee or the steering wheel you can do this making barely any sound -- this means you'll be able to hear the music you're referring to really well.  Don't just focus on the drums - there’s always going to be individual differences in rhythmic conception and you often have to decide whether to "go with" one or the other players.  

Back to the track example -- try locking in with bass or other parts.  See where they're at.  It's a good thing to keep you're conscious mind engaged while you do this -- keep comparing and see if you're really connecting well.  You can also do things like considering the time feel of each player or part in the music when listening.  One reason to do this is so that you're practicing being AWARE of rhythmic differences while playing.  Just thinking little thoughts like, "the bass seems a little behind the drums when they enter", or, "this soloist is backphrasing", is a good start toward being able to stay connected rhythmically on gigs or when recording...